Is it normal to want to be single forever? I’m in my late 20s, and all my friends are getting married or in serious relationships, constantly talking about finding “the one.” I’ve never felt that pull towards romantic partnerships or marriage. I enjoy my independence, my hobbies, and my own company. Sometimes, though, I worry that I’m somehow abnormal or that I’ll regret not settling down later in life. Is this feeling of wanting to be single long-term (or even forever) a common sentiment, or am I an outlier? Are there any psychological or societal factors that might contribute to this preference? What are the potential advantages and disadvantages of choosing a life of long-term singlehood?

Answer

Wanting to be single forever is a perfectly normal and valid life choice. There is no societal or biological imperative that dictates everyone must be in a romantic relationship. Several factors can contribute to this desire:

• Personal Preference: Some individuals genuinely prefer the freedom, independence, and autonomy that come with being single. They might enjoy having more time for hobbies, career pursuits, personal growth, and friendships without the compromises and responsibilities inherent in a romantic partnership.

• Past Experiences: Negative experiences in past relationships, such as heartbreak, betrayal, or feeling stifled, can lead someone to consciously choose to avoid future romantic entanglements. These experiences might shape their perception of relationships and reinforce a desire for solitude.

• Focus on Other Priorities: Certain periods in life might be dedicated to achieving specific goals, such as career advancement, education, travel, or personal development. A person might feel that being in a relationship would hinder their ability to fully pursue these priorities.

• Aromanticism: Aromanticism is a romantic orientation characterized by experiencing little to no romantic attraction towards others. Aromantic individuals are not necessarily asexual (lacking sexual attraction) and can still experience other forms of attraction, such as platonic or aesthetic attraction. For aromantic people, being single aligns with their natural feelings and desires.

• Relationship Anarchy: Relationship anarchy is a philosophy that rejects hierarchical relationship structures and societal expectations around relationships. Individuals who practice relationship anarchy might prioritize personal autonomy and choose to form relationships based on individual needs and desires rather than adhering to conventional relationship norms. They may choose not to pursue traditional romantic partnerships.

• Fear of Commitment: A fear of commitment can stem from various factors, including past experiences, fear of vulnerability, or a desire to maintain control. This fear can lead individuals to avoid long-term relationships and prefer the single life.

• High Standards: Some individuals have very specific criteria for a partner and might prefer to remain single rather than settle for someone who doesn’t meet their standards.

• Enjoyment of Solitude: Some people genuinely enjoy their own company and find fulfillment in solitary activities. They might not feel a need for a romantic partner to feel complete or happy.

• Changing Societal Norms: There is increasing social acceptance of diverse relationship choices, including remaining single. The pressure to conform to traditional relationship models is lessening, allowing individuals to make choices that best suit their personal needs and desires.

• Focus on Platonic Relationships: Individuals can find fulfillment and support through strong platonic relationships with friends and family. These relationships can provide emotional connection, companionship, and a sense of belonging, diminishing the perceived need for a romantic partner.

Ultimately, the decision to be single forever is a personal one, and there is no right or wrong answer. It’s essential to prioritize one’s own happiness and well-being and to make choices that align with one’s values and desires.